It's not hard to tell who the porn actors are from the ones that aren't. Granted, the dialogue in a few scenes was pretty poor, so I could empathize with the actors a few times. The only time Jesse was any good was when she was imitating a monk. Janine was okay, Jesse Jane was horrible, and Carmen Luvana was pretty good. The porn girls were a mixed bag, as well. However, Tommy Gunn, the main bad guy, usually made you wince when he was on screen. Evan Stone, the main good guy, was amazing in about every scene.
Surprisingly, the porn actors weren't necessarily all bad, and the non-porn actors all good. About 25% of the actors were very good, about 25% were okay, and about 50% were horrendous.
WATCH PIRATES 2005 FULL MOVIE MOVIE
(A typical Hollywood movie costs between $15 million and $80 million, with budgets going as high as $200 million.) The drawback here was the acting. Surprisingly, the costumes, sets, backgrounds, music and special effects were fantastic, especially considering that this movie was reportedly made for only $1 million. In reviewing the R-rated version, I tried to forget that this movie was made by the porn industry, to keep my review fair. At Blockbuster, there is a big "R rated, not for children" sticker on the case to keep people from confusing it with Pirates of the Caribbean. I don't know of a store that sells both versions. In case you don't know, there are two versions of Pirates: The R-rated version (which can be bought at and Target, but not Wal-Mart, and can be rented at Blockbuster), and the X-rated version (which can only be bought/rented at adult-fare stores like and ). You will laugh with and at the movie, especially if you keep in mind the fact that its source is an adult film. If you're tired of the typical late night fare you find on many pay cable stations give this film a try. Its an odd thing to do when the film tries very hard to be something other than a stereotypical adult film. My only real complaint is that all of the main women look about the same, large breasted blonds of similar stature and builds. I'm guessing in mainstream hands this might have been a successful pirate action film. The script is actually reasonably good and properly silly (though with some of the cast anything beyond silly might have been a stretch). The effects are uneven, but serviceable (and provide a great homage/spoof with a marvelous riff on the skeleton scene in Jason and the Argonauts). What can I say the acting is wildly uneven, but the cast is still game. He is pursued by some pirate hunters who pick up the wife and remain close on the heels of the villains. The plot has something to do with a pirate captain wanting to get a magical Incan scepter that will give him great power to this end he kidnaps a recently married man who holds the key to the hereabouts of the scepter and throws the wife overboard. Better than many soft-core trash films that play late night on cable this is actually a movie I'd want to see again.
WATCH PIRATES 2005 FULL MOVIE FULL VERSION
Certainly the fact the film can have 40 minutes of sex removed and have it survive says a great deal(The full version runs over two hours).
I'm not sure I liked it because its better than most adult films or because its a good movie in its own right. Its a pirate porn movie thats actually plays as a decent little movie. So go rent it or buy it (the DVD set comes with three discs: movie, movie high definition and Extras), it will not let you down. I do not think there is ONE girl with natural breasts. The only bad thing about it: the fake breasts. My girlfriend enjoyed it as much as I did, and she does not usually enjoy porn. Did you know that these actors could actually act? Of course, it would not be the best movie ever, but since this is porn, I can say that it is the best porn movie ever done. There is good humor, a good story, some pretty good special effects (considering the budget for the movie was 1 million dollars and that is porn). To be completely honest, if they removed every porn action in this movie (like they seem to have done in the R-rated version), this would still be very watchable, even if the sex was completely removed. And a good one, not like those movies Private releases. I'm not writing this to tell the story, but in a few words, there is actually a storyline in this movie.
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